Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Randomize
