i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Acid is not a monday night drug
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
