he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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