two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
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