the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
