I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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