is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Sober January is a disaster.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Randomize
