so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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