Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
