I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I think people are normalizing furries
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
