Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
