Fine. I'll sleep in my office
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
