please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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