So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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