I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Randomize
