Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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