Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
