I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
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