you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Randomize
