My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Randomize
