i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
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