for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize