I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
