And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
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