I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
