What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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