She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize
