it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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