Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Randomize
