I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
and you fell through a lawn chair
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize