idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Randomize
