i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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