So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
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