3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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