Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Randomize
