what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize
