Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
