its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Dear god my vagina.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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