I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I'm drive I can fine osifer
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
