But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Randomize
