i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
