I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize