i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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