Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Randomize
