So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize
