She said her name was "party"
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
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