her vagina looked like bernie madoff
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
