I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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