Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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