I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
