im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Randomize