I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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