Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
