i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
