I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
