Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Randomize