when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Randomize
