do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Randomize
