no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
