just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
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