My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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