My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
