Soap is not a condiment
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
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