I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
