First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
