He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
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