made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
