Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Randomize
