She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
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