I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Randomize
