Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
