I can't watch pbs sober anymore
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
