all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
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